Do you remember that childhood occupation of writing your Christmas letter to Father Christmas? The excitement you had at dreaming up what else you could add to the list? There was that lovely innocent belief, wasn’t there, that you could decide something you wanted, scribble it down and - hey presto - in just a short period of time it would be delivered to your fireplace / the foot of your bed / under the tree* (*delete as applicable) With a “Ho Ho Ho” included.
Prepare yourself for bad news.
Father Christmas never got those letters. There were no magic elves.
If you got anything off your list it was (take a deep breath) down to the sheer hard work, sacrifice and organisation of others. Now I’m a parent of three small children I know how much effort it takes to deliver the goods – I watch my wife do a great job of organising the whole process!
Now I wonder how this connects to young people in school, or to you and I?
What we DO come across in our mentoring work are young people (some, not all) who live and breathe with the corrosive idea lurking in their amazing minds that "whatever I want in life will just arrive". Maybe not in a red sack / pillow / sock* (*you get the idea) but that the universe will conspire to make it happen for them…but somehow without their involvement.
You start asking...When did they decide to become a passenger in their own magnificent life, the one that they have Chief Responsibility to lead? At what point does the penny drop that Accomplishment requires Action. Persistent, informed, purposeful action. Sometimes, the penny never drops.
The mentoring and education work of Lifespace revolves around the absolute passionate intention of helping young people lead their own lives in the direction they really want to go. Don't wait for Santa, because he ain't comin'.
Sometimes nurturing a young person’s belief in themselves can be harder than convincing them that Father Christmas might be out there. The obstacles seem many and are audible.
“But I can’t… But I tried… I can’t be bothered…I’m just not any good at…” Yet ask them what they want, and many people, not just teenagers, have a spark of an idea about how they want their life to be different. The limiting belief creates a limited range of behaviours.
Our advice to those people wanting to succeed at something?
Firstly, get clear on what you do want. Yes, writing it out does help, then you can SEE what you’re thinking. Just not addressed to Santa. Keep the wording positive and succinct. Be specific. Make sure it’s something you are in control of.
Secondly, consider what you need. Who can you talk to? What can you read about it? Who can you model who does it well? What in your past can you squeeze learning from? Rethink the past “gravestones of failure” as “milestones of feedback”. Your past isn’t what you thought it was. We've all failed at something, this no WAY means we are failures.
Thirdly, decide and do something. Then notice what happens. No the Elves won’t put in an extra shift on your behalf, but it’s strange how change always follows action which always follows decision. The world looks different depending on our attitude towards it.
Finally, adjust and keep going. Once you’re taking control of the steering wheel of your life, you have to keep your eyes on the road...
…you just never know when a stray reindeer might appear.
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