Going Blank On Purpose

Ever had a moment like this?

I stood before the audience. A hundred faces stared at me, waiting. I was the keynote speaker, the medium-sized attraction. This was it. But my mind went blank. I remembered my name but after that there was_______________ (exactly, nothing). Just a big space my words weren’t occupying.

The crowd coughed, trying to jolt me into action. Somewhere in the distance a fire engine passed, siren-blaring. Perhaps sent to rescue me. I gulped but the ground refused to swallow me up. Both of us, the floor and I, our mouths seized shut. That’s when I walked off the stage.

Since that accidental awkward silence, over ten years ago, I’ve spoken publicly over 400 times. That one-off moment taught me a great deal about preparation. “Achievement” writes journalist Malcolm Gladwell, “is talent PLUS preparation”.  You can’t just turn up and perform. But when it comes to preparation, the secrets for doing well in the future often lie in the journey we’ve already made.

So, let me pose a question.

What would the line of your last decade look like if you were to chart the up and downs?

My guess is it wouldn’t be a straight line, but more like a pulse rate monitor. There would be ups (I hope), downs (alas, they happen to us all, some of them whilst public speaking) and flat bits where you really weren’t sure what was going on. Or is that just me every morning before caffeine takes effect?

Imagine doing this on a piece of blank paper. Horizontal line across the middle marking out the last ten years to the present day. Vertically up the left hand side a scale from -10 (the sad-awful stuff) rising to +10 (the amazing-proud stuff). Oh, just like that picture there. How handy.

Imagine your line. Its course would be unique. If it looks random, this confirms you are a human not a robot.

Now, a single line can never capture the story of your last decade.  Our lives are rich and strange (or is it just strange to feel rich?) But doing this simple exercise, on paper or mentally, can help pick out key high/low moments from which to learn. A strange paradox: Preparing for the unknown. I so happen to believe life is not an accidental mish-mash but we can influence the lines our lives take.

The day I write this is the 10 Year Anniversary of the mentoring work of Lifespace Trust. A decade in which our mentors have individually supported 968 young people. We’ve had ups (I’ve just been handed a cheque for £10,000 towards our work!) and we’ve had downs (a few significant mistakes of my doing come to mind).

Ten years ago I sat in a café in Stratford and on a blank sheet of paper I wrote what I wanted to see happen. Then with a clear idea of what I wanted, I talked to people who knew what I needed to know, and who cared. This afternoon I’m going out to the same café - but for a fresh coffee - with another blank sheet. I will chart the course of our last ten years, like you can do yours. Then ask some questions.

Notice the highs: ‘What might this suggest? How can we do more of that?’

Look at the lows: ‘How did that happen? What can we learn from that?’ Then talk it through with trusted people to get a 360° perspective.

 

The next decade – yours and ours - will have wobbles. But sometimes creating a blank moment on purpose is a golden chance to pause. Look how far you’ve already come. A reminder to hope. An invitation to dream. It’s time to live life on purpose and have something useful to say.

 

Revision...made easier

We've all been there haven't we?

Knowing a certain task needs doing, right about NOW, but feeling like our oomph has disappeared. *Checks in pockets. Opens and closes draws. No. No sign of Oomph*

 

Our get up and go seems to have strecthed its legs and quietly left the building, checking Twitter as it goes. If only we could keep our oomph in a safe place, eh? The truth is that motivation is not complicated, we just need a few starting points.

The Escape Key decided to live up to its name...
and went off to find your Oomph.

As exam time looms, and the word  'Revision' (said in a whisper) becomes ever present on the lips of parents and teachers, it's possible that someone you know will be facing this motivation dilemma on a daily basis.

 

Maybe someone in your household.

 

Maybe it's you.

 

In our mentoring work at Lifespace Trust we will be working closely with about a hundred young people who will be sick to death of the R word by the end of April.

 

 

So, for their indulgence, here are just four simple tips to make it a touch easier, all beginning with... the letter R.

 

1. Realistic.

Some things just aren't realistic for some young people, like not checking Facebook for a week. Not staying up too late. Not putting their dishes in the sink. Exam time is NOT going to turn a teenager into a Saint. But the good news is that many essentials of 'how to revise' are within reach of most young people.
 

Tip one - set a realistic goal for each day. For example, five hours revision a day may not be realistic and may cause stress and friction, and constant checking of Twitter. But an hour before dinner and an hour afterwards as a minimum may well be. Keep your goals do-able. If you're not in the mood, start with the idea of doing just ten minutes, then notice how you get into it. Starting is the hardest part. Accept it takes time for the brain to warm up.

 

2. Routine.

We do many things without trying simply because they are part of our routine. They are a
habit. Putting your trousers on before you go out the door? Tick. Cleaning your teeth so you don't knock your friends out? Tick. Those are good routines.

Tip Two - revision needs to be routine, not ad hoc.

Stick to the same place for revising the same subject (but using different rooms for different subjects can also work). Stick to the same start and finish time, just like having a dinner time and a bedtime. Find your rhythm and you will waste less time and mental energy convincing yourself to make a start.

 

3. Recycle.

Immediately after revising, the brain does this special thing called forgetting. By recycling I

don't mean collecting your exam notes and putting them through the shredder, tempting as that might be. I mean at the end of each day flick through what you've just revised, again.

Think about the word 'Revision': To look at again and again.

 

Tip Three - At the end of each day/week, flick through what you've revised. Go over and over, not in depth, but in breadth. Give yourself a few minutes to have some 'A-ha! Oh yeah!' moments. Pause if you have to.

 

4. Result.

Ask yourself the question "How will I feel when I HAVE done this piece of work?" Fast forward an hour or two.

Tip four - Focus on what the result will be like. Then picture yourself doing what you
need to be doing. When we shift our focus from our current mood (e.g. boredom) to our
desired mood (e.g. satisfaction) we can find the door to our Oomph is unlocked, and
pushed ajar, ready to let us back in.

 

Finally, I remember the day before I ran the Dublin marathon walking past a billboard which read: "There may be days when you don't feel you can. But there will be a lifetime knowing that you have." Now is the time to make the difference. No teenager I've worked with over the last 18 years ever regretted being too prepared. Because when you've given your all, there is another R to look forward to. Relaxing in the knowledge you gave it 100%.