Your Gorgeous Self

It's one of those themes that comes up every single day.
On the News.
In the office.
On the Papers.
In the Soaps.
You see it all over the place, and yet maybe it's too easily glossed over.
It's one of those things I think every person I've ever met in my life has wrestled with or puzzled over at some point. It’s central to a happy and productive life.

It's the theme of role models and who do we really want to be like. Hey, good question - who do you want to be like? Who specifically comes to mind?

Soren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher, once said, 'With God's help I will become myself.' But I guess we all need other people to help us grow in becoming comfortable in our own skin, and it takes time. A lifetime. Or put it another way – we are wired to need other people help us make sense of who we really are.

We cannot become ‘fully ourselves’ on our own.

Now, put yourself in a 11 year old’s shoes. (Squeeeeeeze yourself in). You’re (perhaps accidentally) watching this week’s Six O’Clock News, and the question of ‘Who shall I look up to?’ is buzzing in your mind.  Yes, 11 year olds do ask such questions. Unconsciously.

The stories you watch include:
Duain Chambers lifetime ban from Olympic athletics for drug cheating is now equivalent to a playtime ban. You figure there are no real consequences to cheating or drug-taking. (Yeah yeah I know it’s not that simple but…) And you hope Duain wins a gold for Team GB. The country will cheer him on, won’t they? Forgive and Forget and all that.
David Cameron and Ed Miliband are shouting and pointing aggressively at each other in the House of Commons – and in the next breath they are talking about respect and civil society. You figure that leaders get to insult other people for free. Cooooool.
Prince William & Kate Middleton are celebrating their first year wedding anniversary. She’s perfect (actually, I think she might be). He’s nearly perfect except the bald patch. They’re perfect together - so the media want to tell us. Does she snore? Does he burp? Who flushes the loo for them? You figure it’s time to switch channel…

What do you come away with? Who’s going to show you how to “do life” and “become the real you”? It’s such a confused picture our society presents, isn’t it? Choices without consquences; Leadership without listening; Portrayal of love without reality.

The problem is that this confusion leads too easily to problem behaviours. Distorted perceptions of self in the mirror (dysmorphia) because our bodies don't match up. Unhealthy comparisons and ‘not successful enough’ labels because our brains don't match up. 
Trickles into depression.
Cascades into self-harm.
Explodes into riots on the streets.
The have’s and the have nots.
Those who get away with cheating and those who don’t.
Those who are paid to point fingers and insult the person in front of them and those that aren’t in the House of Commons.

Role Models.

There are so many of them. Everywhere.

And the great thing is we do get to choose who we want to copy from, model ourselves on, learn from.

Time to take control. Turn off the TV. Close the newspaper. Shut down the internet for 15 minutes. HAVE SOME PEACE AND QUIET.

What if you notice those around you that you’d prefer to be like?
What do you appreciate about them? Have you told them?
What could you learn from them? Have you asked them?

And with God’s help, may you become Your Gorgeous Self.