The Small Head and Big Ears of Love

Have you noticed that it gets less mention on the nightly news than the weather or MP expenses? Yet it is a language every human has the ability to respond to. Love is like oxygen. Easy to miss but impossible to live without.

The Big Baddies?

Yesterday I heard another report has come out analysing the causes of the English summer riots of 2011. Allegedly, who and what is to blame?

1.       Poor parenting

2.       Lack of respect for the Police

3.       Schools providing lack of literacy support

4.       Too much consumerism

5.       Lack of opportunities for young people.

The report possibly has some noble things to say but will it mention the L-word? Love, or the sheer stupid lack of it.  Why don’t we talk about it? We focus on what we talk about.

Why isn’t Love the central theme of the school curriculum, the government budget or the bottom line in the Annual report? When did it slip off the radar?

Now, I’m considering whether ‘mentoring’ is ‘love’ by another name. This ancient tradition of giving time, exchanging stories, and nurturing life in another.

‘Love One Another’ is the concept = ‘Mentor One Another’ is the practice.

 “I feel loved when…”

I asked my kids to finish a sentence recently. You could do this for yourself if you like:

Daddy: ‘Okay kids, here’s how it works. I say the sentence and you finish it. “I feel loved when…”  - what would you say?’

My daughter (age 5): (She jumps up and down on the spot as if sparks of electricity are charging through her) “I feel loved when….when….um….when…when I have cuddles and kisses from daddy.”

My eldest son (age 7): “I feel loved when we play games together, daddy.” He subsequently listed more games than I can remember.

My kids haven’t read Gary Chapman’s ‘The Five Love Languages’…or they have but haven’t told me, but they reveal the truth of it. Love is rich in the way it can be shown – through time together; gifts given; touch offered; words spoken; actions done. My dad is an Action(s) Man. My wife is a Gifts Girly. We all have a preference or two it seems.

Love delights in difference and diversity.

Back to Big Baddy Number One…

Poor parenting. The riots happened because of poor parenting? Really? Parents can only love if they first know love - surely. If we blame the parents, then what about the parents’ parents? Where does it lead? How far back do we have to go? So let’s blame the teachers, and the Police, and the media….and...and...

Let’s take this to the only logical conclusion there is. We Are All Responsible. We Are All Responsible For Love.

Neither you nor I can change what happened last summer. Awful things happened, and I’m still hoping there will be a report which doesn’t just blame-find and finger-point.

Time For Positive Finger Pointing

If we’re going to point fingers, what would happen if we point firstly at these words, and then point to ourselves…?

“Love is patient” – love doesn’t take time. It gives time.

“Love is kind” – it believes you are more than you think you are.

“It does not envy, boast, nor is it proud.” – Love is easy to overlook because it has a small head with big ears.

“It values others, rather than saying ‘me first’…” – Who wouldn’t admire someone with this attitude?

“It keeps no record of wrongs” – Love has a brilliant memory problem.

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – Love isn’t for softees. Love is robust and energetic.

Love never fails. I know I have deeply failed at times. My parents failed me, sometimes. My kids fail everso occasionally. My teachers failed to do something about me being bullied for four years. We’re definitely all in this one together.

"But three remain: faith, hope and love. And the greatest of these is love."

Love Is. Fullstop.