Have you noticed how lethal the question ‘WHY?’ can be? And the reaction it gets?
Whether in parenting, teaching, business, coaching... You name it, ‘Why?’ is a dangerous weapon.
Hmmm. Why is that?
Oftentimes the question ‘Why?’ evokes a defensive response. People start thinking they are being questioned and judged. Hands up if you enjoy that? Relating gets usurped by justifying.
Of course the impact of asking ‘Why?’ will depend on how it’s said, and can still be handy if you want to create direct confrontation or challenge someone. There is a place for that.
However - the words ‘HOW COME?’ can restore rapport.
‘How come?’ allows curiosity to be expressed; it takes conversation onward not inward, it gets to the positive intention behind a person’s action, and is safer.
How come we don’t use it more often?
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