Press Pause!

Go on, admit it, you've done it too haven't you? You've quietly counted how many days it is until Christmas. Whether by fingers or in your mind, you've figured out how much time you have left until you are THERE. Gosh, it sounds so...final!

 

And I'm not even mentioning the
Waitrose advert with the bear...

Maybe you've also done that "quick frantic shake of the head" because it can't be true, can it? Christmas in HOW many days?

 

You demand a recount, desperately searching for extra fingers that signify extra days, or an extra head in which to download the stress that the very idea of Christmas conjures up. Well, be thankful you don't have two heads. *checks in mirror*

But before pressing down on the accelerator and za-za-zooming into the rest of December at ninety miles an hour, press pause. *gives a long deep sigh*

Why not take a few moments right now to consider where you've been, how far you've come, what you're proud of about this year?

 

With eleven months gone, there are some good things in the rear view mirror of 2013 that you could keep in mind.  Why? Because your body hears everything your mind says, and if your mind is full of all the Xmas-stress to come then you can guarantee your body will be full of that tension too. *does a slow roll of the head from one side to the other* Give yourself some time, pace yourself.

Take a moment to look back,
notice how far you've come...
(image courtesy of Instant Imprints)

A well known American running coach, John Bingham, says his advice to any wannabe marathon runner is just two words: "Start slow" he says. Sound advice. Having just run my eleventh marathon, this time across the glory of the Sussex Downs, to Mr. Bingham's pithy wisdom I would add my own two words - "Finish well".

And this is where marathon running meets the stress-filled onslaught of Christmas: that as the winter temperature drops and the seasonal to-do list rises, choose to finish the year well. You've made it this far. There have been difficult moments for us all, probably some regrets and some stuff that did your head in too. We all get that, because we're all human.

In our mentoring work at Lifespace Trust, we often pick up working with young people whose time at school is close to being off the rails - for all kinds of valid reasons. Our encouragement to them is that it doesn't have to finish that way; that the past doesn't have to determine the future. That to move forward it's vital to not lose touch with the good things inside them; to not consign previous achievements or positive memories - however easy to dismiss - to the box marked history.

 

Finishing well is a choice, not an accident.

Let's face it. The 'THERE' of Christmas will get here soon enough, one day at a time. No sooner, no later. So right now, choose to finish your 2013 well. Whatever kind of year it has been so far for you. Decide what that looks like for you - a card of appreciation to someone; a debt paid off or an apology made; a bad habit stopped; an important friendship revitalised.

 

Perhaps this is the best present to give yourself this Christmas.

You decide: What does finishing well look like for you?

 

Coming to your senses

"Wherever you go, there you are" Jon Kabat-Zinn

Have you ever caught yourself using that fateful phrase: "I can't wait until..." Or its twin culprit "If only it was..."?

 

Yes it's important to have things to look forward to - good stuff planned ahead can provide a real energy lift. However, sometimes it's just too easy to chop out large chunks of our lives just existing from one holiday or weekend to the next!

During my first day back at work after the summer holidays I overheard someone say "I can't wait until Christmas!" At that point there were still 114 days to go. I had to work it out on a calculator. I felt sad at the thought of wanting to forward wind your life 16 weeks. The days will only ever arrive one at a time and the future will never appear any faster than that. There's no App for that, no 'iRush' software, whatever brand of mobile phone you have.

 

One simple curious day at a time, thank goodness, for each day has enough trouble and surprise of its own.

My uncle (in wheelchair), now
living with the illness MND,
but who hasn't given up
on still racing in marathons!

Over the past year I have had contact with several people who are now living with a terminal illness called Motor Neurone Disease (MND), my Uncle Andrew being one of them (see picture). A recurring theme among them is that the cruel and unwelcome arrival of this fatal degenerative condition has brought an unexpected joy. Yes, really. Joy.

 

As their limbs weaken, their speech packs up and their taste buds fade (by the way, MND is uniquely different for each person with it), it has forced them to...slow...down. In the face of total deterioration of their bodies, they have been confronted with how vital it is to experience every single moment to its fullest, while they can. As author Jon Kabat-Zinn once said, we need to get out of our heads more often...and into our bodies. My friends with MND can teach us all something life-giving.

Consider the difference between rushing through our lives, and actually noticing what we are experiencing through our senses:

 •  Instead of just eating (how mindlessly do we eat sometimes!), what if we notice the taste of each mouthful? Eat slower, taste more.

•  Instead of driving everywhere, walk somewhere. Give the brain a chance to catch up.

•  Don't zip past blackberry bushes, pick some, squish them like a two year old boy does.

•  Stand outside in the evening, close your eyes and notice what you hear. Birds? Chatter? Aeroplanes? Stay still until you can hear and sense your own breathing. Let your breath breathe you. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Remind yourself that this is it. This is your life you're in.

•  Give yourself five minutes to stare at the night sky. Notice the magnitude of life above us all.

•  As autumn progresses, take the chance to smell the roses.

•  In a conversation, allow a moment of silence and smile for the sheer sake of smiling.

Were we really designed just to lurch from one stress-filled day to another? I don't think so. Is there a better way? Yes, and it's right under our noses and at our fingertips. We need to come back to our senses and I mean that 100% literally. To pay closer attention to what we see and hear and touch and taste and smell, for each day can reveal unexpected joy.

Isn't this what we'd want to teach our young people?

 

 

Adapted from the original article featuring in Connection magazine, Oct 2013 (c) Chris Spriggs 2013

Mindfulness image courtesy of mentallywell.co.uk