Centre of the universe?

Pinned to a wooden beam above my desk is a single piece of paper. The edges curl a little. Upon it is written a question. Each time I read it I search a little more for an answer. I hope I'm getting closer.

The question is this:

"What is the question at the centre of this organisation, around which everything else revolves?"

It's not a mission statement, nor a list of values all beginning with the letter "P". Yes, mission and values matter, but this is a question. What is it about questions which propel our thinking onward, keeping us curious? I wonder.

Copernicus - wondering whether to let
the world know it wasn't quite
where it thought it was.

The question was inspired by the story of Greek astronomer Claudius Ptolemy who in 127 AD postulated that the earth sits bone idle at the epicenter of our universe whilst the sun, moon and other planets dance around it.  Ptolemy's map shows the planets doing drunken loop-the-loops around the earth. Orbital acrobatics. For over 1,400 years his theory was assumed correct.
 Fourteen hundred years!

That's longer than it takes to get a dentist appointment.

Then Polish mathematician-astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus observed the earth in fact rotated daily on its axis and revolved yearly around the sun. I expect 1,400 years of a skewed understanding of the solar system was hard wired in people's thinking. They believed what had always just been believed. Imagine daring to explain this new 'heliocentric' discovery to the King and Pope, and all without the aid of PowerPoint. Copernicus was not popular. Change wasn't all the rage in 1543. But his courage to challenge assumptions opened up a whole new way of understanding the system within which we live.

Why bother with the question? Because I am animated about something. In the last decade the number of young people nationally who are prescribed anti-depressants has doubled (source: World Health Organisation, 2016). Self-harm, anxiety, stress and depression continue to escalate and the thing is, nobody is surprised. This bothers me.

It bothers me that the mental health of this rising generation is spinning so dangerously out of control. Imagine the impact on our future workforce. Our social systems are doing loop-the-loops, dancing madly around deeply-held assumptions that evidently are not enriching the well-being of young people. Assumptions about assessments and measurements and standards. Some helpful, but not all.  

Lifespace Trust works to see the "mental wealth" of the next generation released, because the challenges on our tiny spinning planet are very real:

Climate change and finite resources; political unrest; international tensions and terrorism. Time is precious. X-Factor doesn’t have the answer.

Young people are not just younger, they are also newer with insights adults haven't considered. I wonder, in our information-saturated society, are we giving them the time, space and skills to think? To shift from “having thoughts” (noun) to knowing how “to think” (verb) for themselves. Has knowledge based on the past replaced the wisdom we need for the future? It would have been easier for Copernicus to keep quiet. Let the planets do their thing. Shrug his shoulders and move on.

Jotted at the bottom of my piece of paper, in hurried scrawl, is a response to my question:

"How else can we help every young person connect to their highest potential?"

Now, what would that be like?

The Gift Of Attention

I watched, intrigued.

The 12 year old lad, with whom I was sat in the school chapel for his mentoring session, was teaching me something that morning which will stay with me. We had met most weeks for two terms. He was a talented artist and had ideas for his future but had missed a considerable amount of school with anxiety-based issues. "My tummy goes mad", he said, "then my migraines come on, and I just want to hide for days" he said. He gazed through the stained glass windows as if imagining what was beyond them. 

My question loitered in the air: "So, what do you already know that can help you?"

For the next twenty minutes I didn't drop my eyes from his, although he mostly looked through the window. Occasionally he checked I was still there, watching. Watching with my eyes, posture, face. But more than watching. Paying attention.

That's a funny phrase isn't it, "paying attention". It makes it sound like a transaction. Is attention an expenditure? Something which costs us? No, I didn't feel like I was paying attention, but giving attention. The gift of quiet, holding back as best I could my adult-styled interruptions, and letting him think for himself. Is that against the rules, for young people to think for themselves?

For twenty minutes we sat, and he thought out loud. My not-very-clever question simply intended to challenge the assumption that he wasn't the expert on himself. He is. He knows himself best. For twenty minutes. Silences and murmurs, and then he emerged with conclusions. "Now I know I can face people, it's just sometimes I think I can't. But I know now how to change a bad thought into a good thought." He looked up and glowed with a smile.

I asked him to repeat what he'd said. It was illuminating: to know you can (in your heart) but think you can't (in your head); and therefore decide you can change your thought. What else changes when you change one thought? Remembering thoughts are just that, thoughts. Not reality. Not truth. Just thoughts which come and go.

Maybe he left the school chapel changed, maybe not. He seemed to enjoy the chance to think. What he demonstrated is what happens when we give deliberate gentle attention, and get out the way of trying to be the Big Answer. 

The gift of attention is a gift we can all give.

Lifespace recieves Queen's Award for Voluntary Service

Lifespace Trust has been honoured with the Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service, the highest award a voluntary group can receive in the UK. 

 

The Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service is the highest award given to local volunteer groups across the UK to recognise outstanding work in their communities.

The awards were created in 2002 to celebrate the Queen’s Golden Jubilee and winners are announced each year on 2^nd June – the anniversary of the Queen’s Coronation. Only three awards have been achieved in the whole of Warwickshire this year.

 

Lifespace received their award from Lord Lieutenant of Warwickshire, Tim Cox, at their Annual General Meeting on Monday, in Stratford Town Hall. Presenting the award to Lifespace Trust, Mr. Cox said "I have been sent here by the Queen to present Lifespace Trust with this award... I am delighted you have been successful in receiving this Award which is given for an outstanding contribution to voluntary services.  It is richly deserved as you are supported by so many excellent volunteers". 

 

Our specially designed cake, created by
Emma Mitchell. Someone was keen with
the knife before we took the photo!

Director, Chris Spriggs, said: “This award recognises the astonishing contribution of our volunteer mentors and trustees over the last eleven years. I have an incredible team who demonstrate an unswerving dedication and skilled compassion for young people. The Queen’s Award is fitting recognition of our work, past and present. We are thrilled.”

Representatives from Warwickshire County Council, Stratford District Council, Stratford Town Trust, Vice Lord Lieutenant Hamish Gray-Cheape and Deputy Lieutenants Bridget Winstanley and Sue Saudners, VASA, WCVYS, Stratford Mayor Tessa Bates and High Sheriff of Warwickshire, Janet Bell-Smith, were all in attendance for the presentation.

 

The QAVS crystal

The Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service Committee Chair, former broadcast journalist Martyn Lewis CBE said: “I warmly congratulate all of the inspirational voluntary groups who have been rewarded for their community work with a Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service. The judging panel for this year’s awards were struck by the quality and breadth of all the successful groups. The thousands of volunteers who give up spare time to help others in their community and to help solve problems demonstrate the best of democracy in action.”
 

A community of mentors keeps growing

We welcome 14 new volunteer mentors this month!

They are just about to complete their 3 day mentor training programme based at The Barn, Bidford-on-Avon, delivered by Mentoring and Training Co-ordinator, Kate Cocker and Director, Chris Spriggs. This will grow the community of Lifespace mentors to 49... which is great news for reaching more young people who face difficulty and distress, more speedily and effectively. Every mentor teams up with an individual supervisor.

All their mini-biographies and photos are on our new website in the gallery of mentors:

http://www.lifespace.org.uk/our-mentors.html

 

Welcome to...

Cher-Anne Beard, Jo Broughton, Lorraine Cattrell, Janette Del Monaco, Fran Foster

Liz Gregson, Jo Harper, Sara Le Grice, Fiona Legros, Isabelle Mullon, Bethan Pierce-Jones, Debbie Seaborn, Gill Thomas, Sam Wehby.

 

 

 

 

The Mentor Training programme includes:

-    Understanding the role of a mentor and the qualities required
-    What mentoring is ...and isn't!
-    How mentoring differs from counselling, befriending and coaching
-    The mentoring life spiral as a process for mentoring relationships
-    How to start and end mentoring relationships well
-    Role plays and mentoring resources
-    Young people and mental health
-    Mindfulness and resilience in mentoring
-    Creating positive outcomes
-    Mentoring techniques and questioning styles

We deliver mentoring training approximately every 9 months to give time to making sure all our new mentors are effectively inducted and matched to an individual supervisor. To enquire about our next training (scheduled for April - June 2016) please call the office on 01789 297400 and ask to speak to Kate Cocker.

The training currently costs £195 which is payable in advance by a trainee. This is reimbursed in full once a mentor has completed 24 hours of mentoring with Lifespace as a volunteer. If the cost is a barrier to your participation but you are still interested in volunteering with us, please contact us and we are open to discussing possibiities.

Volunteers are accepted only after a full interview, two references and a DBS Enhanced Disclosure. 

New website launched

Our new website www.lifespace.org.uk went LIVE! this autumn with a fresh look and design.

 

The site is based around three sections to help everyone connected to or interested in Lifespace find what they need within two clicks!

 

The three sections are:

1. How we help - about our services and behind the scenes

2. Get help - for young people, families and schools, with a simple 'mentoring request' form available to download

3. Help us - how to support our work with young people with a donation

The homepage also proudly displays the Queen's Award For Voluntary Service emblem, having received the prestigious award for an "outstanding contribution" to the lives of young people since 2004.

Going Blank On Purpose

Ever had a moment like this?

I stood before the audience. A hundred faces stared at me, waiting. I was the keynote speaker, the medium-sized attraction. This was it. But my mind went blank. I remembered my name but after that there was_______________ (exactly, nothing). Just a big space my words weren’t occupying.

The crowd coughed, trying to jolt me into action. Somewhere in the distance a fire engine passed, siren-blaring. Perhaps sent to rescue me. I gulped but the ground refused to swallow me up. Both of us, the floor and I, our mouths seized shut. That’s when I walked off the stage.

Since that accidental awkward silence, over ten years ago, I’ve spoken publicly over 400 times. That one-off moment taught me a great deal about preparation. “Achievement” writes journalist Malcolm Gladwell, “is talent PLUS preparation”.  You can’t just turn up and perform. But when it comes to preparation, the secrets for doing well in the future often lie in the journey we’ve already made.

So, let me pose a question.

What would the line of your last decade look like if you were to chart the up and downs?

My guess is it wouldn’t be a straight line, but more like a pulse rate monitor. There would be ups (I hope), downs (alas, they happen to us all, some of them whilst public speaking) and flat bits where you really weren’t sure what was going on. Or is that just me every morning before caffeine takes effect?

Imagine doing this on a piece of blank paper. Horizontal line across the middle marking out the last ten years to the present day. Vertically up the left hand side a scale from -10 (the sad-awful stuff) rising to +10 (the amazing-proud stuff). Oh, just like that picture there. How handy.

Imagine your line. Its course would be unique. If it looks random, this confirms you are a human not a robot.

Now, a single line can never capture the story of your last decade.  Our lives are rich and strange (or is it just strange to feel rich?) But doing this simple exercise, on paper or mentally, can help pick out key high/low moments from which to learn. A strange paradox: Preparing for the unknown. I so happen to believe life is not an accidental mish-mash but we can influence the lines our lives take.

The day I write this is the 10 Year Anniversary of the mentoring work of Lifespace Trust. A decade in which our mentors have individually supported 968 young people. We’ve had ups (I’ve just been handed a cheque for £10,000 towards our work!) and we’ve had downs (a few significant mistakes of my doing come to mind).

Ten years ago I sat in a café in Stratford and on a blank sheet of paper I wrote what I wanted to see happen. Then with a clear idea of what I wanted, I talked to people who knew what I needed to know, and who cared. This afternoon I’m going out to the same café - but for a fresh coffee - with another blank sheet. I will chart the course of our last ten years, like you can do yours. Then ask some questions.

Notice the highs: ‘What might this suggest? How can we do more of that?’

Look at the lows: ‘How did that happen? What can we learn from that?’ Then talk it through with trusted people to get a 360° perspective.

 

The next decade – yours and ours - will have wobbles. But sometimes creating a blank moment on purpose is a golden chance to pause. Look how far you’ve already come. A reminder to hope. An invitation to dream. It’s time to live life on purpose and have something useful to say.

 

Revision...made easier

We've all been there haven't we?

Knowing a certain task needs doing, right about NOW, but feeling like our oomph has disappeared. *Checks in pockets. Opens and closes draws. No. No sign of Oomph*

 

Our get up and go seems to have strecthed its legs and quietly left the building, checking Twitter as it goes. If only we could keep our oomph in a safe place, eh? The truth is that motivation is not complicated, we just need a few starting points.

The Escape Key decided to live up to its name...
and went off to find your Oomph.

As exam time looms, and the word  'Revision' (said in a whisper) becomes ever present on the lips of parents and teachers, it's possible that someone you know will be facing this motivation dilemma on a daily basis.

 

Maybe someone in your household.

 

Maybe it's you.

 

In our mentoring work at Lifespace Trust we will be working closely with about a hundred young people who will be sick to death of the R word by the end of April.

 

 

So, for their indulgence, here are just four simple tips to make it a touch easier, all beginning with... the letter R.

 

1. Realistic.

Some things just aren't realistic for some young people, like not checking Facebook for a week. Not staying up too late. Not putting their dishes in the sink. Exam time is NOT going to turn a teenager into a Saint. But the good news is that many essentials of 'how to revise' are within reach of most young people.
 

Tip one - set a realistic goal for each day. For example, five hours revision a day may not be realistic and may cause stress and friction, and constant checking of Twitter. But an hour before dinner and an hour afterwards as a minimum may well be. Keep your goals do-able. If you're not in the mood, start with the idea of doing just ten minutes, then notice how you get into it. Starting is the hardest part. Accept it takes time for the brain to warm up.

 

2. Routine.

We do many things without trying simply because they are part of our routine. They are a
habit. Putting your trousers on before you go out the door? Tick. Cleaning your teeth so you don't knock your friends out? Tick. Those are good routines.

Tip Two - revision needs to be routine, not ad hoc.

Stick to the same place for revising the same subject (but using different rooms for different subjects can also work). Stick to the same start and finish time, just like having a dinner time and a bedtime. Find your rhythm and you will waste less time and mental energy convincing yourself to make a start.

 

3. Recycle.

Immediately after revising, the brain does this special thing called forgetting. By recycling I

don't mean collecting your exam notes and putting them through the shredder, tempting as that might be. I mean at the end of each day flick through what you've just revised, again.

Think about the word 'Revision': To look at again and again.

 

Tip Three - At the end of each day/week, flick through what you've revised. Go over and over, not in depth, but in breadth. Give yourself a few minutes to have some 'A-ha! Oh yeah!' moments. Pause if you have to.

 

4. Result.

Ask yourself the question "How will I feel when I HAVE done this piece of work?" Fast forward an hour or two.

Tip four - Focus on what the result will be like. Then picture yourself doing what you
need to be doing. When we shift our focus from our current mood (e.g. boredom) to our
desired mood (e.g. satisfaction) we can find the door to our Oomph is unlocked, and
pushed ajar, ready to let us back in.

 

Finally, I remember the day before I ran the Dublin marathon walking past a billboard which read: "There may be days when you don't feel you can. But there will be a lifetime knowing that you have." Now is the time to make the difference. No teenager I've worked with over the last 18 years ever regretted being too prepared. Because when you've given your all, there is another R to look forward to. Relaxing in the knowledge you gave it 100%.

Press Pause!

Go on, admit it, you've done it too haven't you? You've quietly counted how many days it is until Christmas. Whether by fingers or in your mind, you've figured out how much time you have left until you are THERE. Gosh, it sounds so...final!

 

And I'm not even mentioning the
Waitrose advert with the bear...

Maybe you've also done that "quick frantic shake of the head" because it can't be true, can it? Christmas in HOW many days?

 

You demand a recount, desperately searching for extra fingers that signify extra days, or an extra head in which to download the stress that the very idea of Christmas conjures up. Well, be thankful you don't have two heads. *checks in mirror*

But before pressing down on the accelerator and za-za-zooming into the rest of December at ninety miles an hour, press pause. *gives a long deep sigh*

Why not take a few moments right now to consider where you've been, how far you've come, what you're proud of about this year?

 

With eleven months gone, there are some good things in the rear view mirror of 2013 that you could keep in mind.  Why? Because your body hears everything your mind says, and if your mind is full of all the Xmas-stress to come then you can guarantee your body will be full of that tension too. *does a slow roll of the head from one side to the other* Give yourself some time, pace yourself.

Take a moment to look back,
notice how far you've come...
(image courtesy of Instant Imprints)

A well known American running coach, John Bingham, says his advice to any wannabe marathon runner is just two words: "Start slow" he says. Sound advice. Having just run my eleventh marathon, this time across the glory of the Sussex Downs, to Mr. Bingham's pithy wisdom I would add my own two words - "Finish well".

And this is where marathon running meets the stress-filled onslaught of Christmas: that as the winter temperature drops and the seasonal to-do list rises, choose to finish the year well. You've made it this far. There have been difficult moments for us all, probably some regrets and some stuff that did your head in too. We all get that, because we're all human.

In our mentoring work at Lifespace Trust, we often pick up working with young people whose time at school is close to being off the rails - for all kinds of valid reasons. Our encouragement to them is that it doesn't have to finish that way; that the past doesn't have to determine the future. That to move forward it's vital to not lose touch with the good things inside them; to not consign previous achievements or positive memories - however easy to dismiss - to the box marked history.

 

Finishing well is a choice, not an accident.

Let's face it. The 'THERE' of Christmas will get here soon enough, one day at a time. No sooner, no later. So right now, choose to finish your 2013 well. Whatever kind of year it has been so far for you. Decide what that looks like for you - a card of appreciation to someone; a debt paid off or an apology made; a bad habit stopped; an important friendship revitalised.

 

Perhaps this is the best present to give yourself this Christmas.

You decide: What does finishing well look like for you?

 

Job for life?

Job for life?

Can you remember your early experiences of work?

 

Work you got paid for and made you feel like "wow, so this is what employment can be like!" Our early experiences can  really shape our expectations for the future, can't they.

 
For some of us it was Bob-a-job week with Scouts.

I remember knocking on doors at age 12 with my older brother, sauntering through the village in our dark green scout shirts on hot May days. We would polish shoes and wash flowerpots for fifty pence - character building stuff! It was about serving folk in the community, being enterprising and making enough pennies to pay for our summer camp!


Perhaps it was work experience during school that provided a taster for you? In our mentoring work at Lifespace Trust, I recently spoke to a lad who worked at Shepperton Studios learning about film sets and animation. More glamorous than my two weeks in an Accountant's office in Guildford learning about Supercalc 5 and bank reconciliations. But I loved it. I went on to get a degree in Accountancy.

HORRIBLE HEADLINES

Recent reports by the Chartered Institute for Personnel Development (CIPD) and Business In The Community (BITC) are giving us details about the horrible headline of youth unemployment in our country with 1 in 5 young people aged 16-24 out of paid work. It is wrong that it is like this. There is a significant mismatch between employers and young people, and the problem isn't just elsewhere, it is local to South Warwickshire too.

MORE THAN YOU THINK?

Don't just consider the drain on the welfare budget, more vitally we are talking about a whole generation who are learning about worklessness and worthlessness.

And as for the damage done to young people's mental health... Our job shouldn't define our worth but it does give us a context to discover it and demonstrate it. For all the TV talent shows which reinforce the celebrity culture we have enthroned, thousands of young people are having their more useful and worthy talents ignored. Of course, it's not just a question of talent, but of giving opportunities to learn and discover what they are capable of in a supported way.

One teenager who struggles with the impact of dyslexia in school is realising his hyper-visual brain (people with dyslexia think in pictures, not sounds) means he is amazing with repairing car engines. Spelling is a struggle but he's got his own X Factor!

CATCH 22

But here's the catch-22: What employers want is precisely what young people lack -  "Experience". In fact, too many employers want the "finished product". Businesses need to think about social investment not just financial profit, although there is also a business case for apprenticeships. Nine out of ten employers, nationally, that have apprentices are satisfied with them. We all have a responsibility to one another.

So, what are we doing?

 

With the brilliant support of Stratford Town Trust, we now have a part-time Employability Co-ordinator, whose task is to "close the gap between school and business, and between young people and enterprising adults, through mentoring".

• More chances for youth volunteering? We hope so.

• More openings for work experience and apprenticeships? Yes please.

• More paid work for young people? You bet.

Because when a million young people are being discarded at the start of their working lives, we have to start somewhere. Let's start local and let's start now.

For more information contact Kirsty at Lifespace Trust on 01789 297400 or info@lifespace.org.uk

Note:

 

If helping young people in employability matters to you, please consider making a donation. We are a small independent charity in South Warwickshire that relies on voluntary giving to continue. Please visit www.lifespace.org.uk and use our VirginMoneyGiving widget to make a secure and easy donation, or call and speak to Ros in the office. 

Coming to your senses

"Wherever you go, there you are" Jon Kabat-Zinn

Have you ever caught yourself using that fateful phrase: "I can't wait until..." Or its twin culprit "If only it was..."?

 

Yes it's important to have things to look forward to - good stuff planned ahead can provide a real energy lift. However, sometimes it's just too easy to chop out large chunks of our lives just existing from one holiday or weekend to the next!

During my first day back at work after the summer holidays I overheard someone say "I can't wait until Christmas!" At that point there were still 114 days to go. I had to work it out on a calculator. I felt sad at the thought of wanting to forward wind your life 16 weeks. The days will only ever arrive one at a time and the future will never appear any faster than that. There's no App for that, no 'iRush' software, whatever brand of mobile phone you have.

 

One simple curious day at a time, thank goodness, for each day has enough trouble and surprise of its own.

My uncle (in wheelchair), now
living with the illness MND,
but who hasn't given up
on still racing in marathons!

Over the past year I have had contact with several people who are now living with a terminal illness called Motor Neurone Disease (MND), my Uncle Andrew being one of them (see picture). A recurring theme among them is that the cruel and unwelcome arrival of this fatal degenerative condition has brought an unexpected joy. Yes, really. Joy.

 

As their limbs weaken, their speech packs up and their taste buds fade (by the way, MND is uniquely different for each person with it), it has forced them to...slow...down. In the face of total deterioration of their bodies, they have been confronted with how vital it is to experience every single moment to its fullest, while they can. As author Jon Kabat-Zinn once said, we need to get out of our heads more often...and into our bodies. My friends with MND can teach us all something life-giving.

Consider the difference between rushing through our lives, and actually noticing what we are experiencing through our senses:

 •  Instead of just eating (how mindlessly do we eat sometimes!), what if we notice the taste of each mouthful? Eat slower, taste more.

•  Instead of driving everywhere, walk somewhere. Give the brain a chance to catch up.

•  Don't zip past blackberry bushes, pick some, squish them like a two year old boy does.

•  Stand outside in the evening, close your eyes and notice what you hear. Birds? Chatter? Aeroplanes? Stay still until you can hear and sense your own breathing. Let your breath breathe you. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Remind yourself that this is it. This is your life you're in.

•  Give yourself five minutes to stare at the night sky. Notice the magnitude of life above us all.

•  As autumn progresses, take the chance to smell the roses.

•  In a conversation, allow a moment of silence and smile for the sheer sake of smiling.

Were we really designed just to lurch from one stress-filled day to another? I don't think so. Is there a better way? Yes, and it's right under our noses and at our fingertips. We need to come back to our senses and I mean that 100% literally. To pay closer attention to what we see and hear and touch and taste and smell, for each day can reveal unexpected joy.

Isn't this what we'd want to teach our young people?

 

 

Adapted from the original article featuring in Connection magazine, Oct 2013 (c) Chris Spriggs 2013

Mindfulness image courtesy of mentallywell.co.uk

Change: What can a paperclip teach us?

How do you turn a paperclip into a house? Is it possible? In fact, have you ever wondered how you take any tiny idea and achieve some brighter bolder ambition?

You might honestly think this story was made up, but it’s true. I’ve seen the photos.
Now, I’m left pondering the question…

The story of the paperclip

The story is a few years old and known as the story of ‘One Red Paperclip’. An average Canadian, Kyle MacDonald (see photo), found himself out of work and bored of sending off his C.V. in order to land a job. A job he needed to buy a house. A house he wanted so as to provide for his partner. Fair enough. He was in pursuit of ‘Something Better’ like many people are. But he didn't resign himself to days of sofa-sitting and nights of X-box playing.
He began with the single red paperclip that was holding his C.V. together on his desk.
Ironic really, that a piece of stationery symbolised his ‘stationary status’ (please pause to appreciate the clever wordplay there). He advertised the red paperclip online in exchange for anything ‘Bigger and Better’, and then waited... expectantly...


The paperclip soon turned into a fish pen (not magically you understand), the fish pen eventually – through trading - became a camp stove…a snowmobile… and up and up the exchange ladder things went until… Kyle and Dominique got their house. Truly. The striking thing is that no money was exchanged in the entire course of trading, and a lot of happy friendships were created along the way.

Just a tiny almost daft idea that triggered a risk that fuelled a belief that accomplished a dream. Plus a lot of travelling in a van.

Holding it together

It is a story that applies to us all, including to our work at Lifespace Trust, with young people who are sometimes working out whether they can – just like the red paperclip - ‘hold it together’ any longer.

Many young people we talk with feel… stuck. Have you been there? Stuck… but wanting to exchange it for ‘Something Better’. Whether that’s better relationships, better prospects, or better health. Sometimes they perceive themselves as boxed in, fed up and let down by a society that says they must ‘hold it all together’ when what they need to do is… LET GO! To take a risk and talk honestly to someone about those scary exams, those embarrassing body changes, those upsetting family changes and the pressure to hold it all together. Mentoring is a chance for young people to do this. To tell their story, start to get unstuck and move forward.

Mr.Dubious

I’m dubious about anything that suggests instant change. Life seems to be more like a tricky and unpredictable process of exchanges between people, hopefully in the direction of ‘Something Better’. But not always, and sometimes not often.


Back to the question: How do you turn a paperclip into a house? Or make anything better than it currently is?

Well, Kyle’s story suggests that we... 

1. Begin from where we are. Not from where we would ideally like to be.

2. Believe in what we do have, even if it's just a silly red paperclip.

3. Be aware of what we can do to change things, not dither about on those things we can't.

4. And as importantly, be open to others.

Because then you never know what good things might just happen next.

(This article first appeared in Connection Magazine (c) 2012, author Chris Spriggs, and is reproduced here with permission; images courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net and shutterstock)